Unannounced
by PrevailsInDarkness
Summary: Shay decides its time to get to know her new partner - only things don't end quite how she imagined.


**A/N - Not sure where I'm heading with this..**

* * *

I knocked on the door of Allison's apartment hoping that my idea of bringing a few beers round to get to know each other wouldn't back fire on me. It didn't take long for the door to swing open. I braced a smile on my face and looked up. Allison was wearing trackies and a hoody. She looked so much nicer when she wasn't dressed to look prim and professional.

"Hey," I said. "Mind if I come in?"

Allison looked me over before moving aside to let me in. "You're already here, may as well."

"Sorry to turn up unannounced but I thought we should at least get to know each other if we're going to be working together." I said. Why was I blabbering on? I wasn't like this at the firehouse or on shift. I held up the beer. "Up for a few beers?"

"Sure," Allison smiled and led me over to the sofa. Taking a seat, she twisted the top off one of the bottles and took a drink. "This isn't some kind of gay beer is it?"

I laughed sitting down next to her. "Only if you want it to be,"

We both paused at that - Allison trying to come up with a reply and me at how obviously flirty that comment was. I knew Allison was big on the whole gay thing and I really needed to stick behind the line while talking to her.

"So do you usually pop by unannounced?" Allison asked.

"To be honest I wasn't expecting to get this far." I admitted. Allison looked at me. "I know how you feel about people like me and I wasn't sure if you'd want me in your house."

"Shay," Allison started.

"Sorry. That was a bit forward; I just don't want you to be uncomfortable." I said.

"Shay," Allison said. I noticed she'd finished one beer already. "I'm sorry about what I said that day. I overreacted."

"Allison if that's how you feel, its fine. I won't push you. I can't make you okay with it but I can still be your friend." I said.

Allison made to say something but stopped and instead smiled at me. "Thanks,"

"So what made you move firehouses?" I asked taking a drink.

"Needed a change," Allison said. "Some things were going on and I needed to get away."

"I can understand that." I said remembering my running away from firehouse 51 and everything that had happened. "Sometimes it's hard to be in the same situation while feeling different."

"Yeah," Allison said. "Exactly,"

We smiled at each other. I really liked this side to Allison, more open and willing to share.

* * *

The next few hours passed with us exchanging stories and getting to know pretty trivial things about each other. The six pack I'd brought was long gone so we had ended up just lounging on the sofa, our legs touching something which didn't seem to bother Allison right now.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Allison sat up.

"Shoot," I said.

"How did you know you were gay?" Allison blurted out.

"I guess I always knew on some level but I dated a few boys in high school before accepting that they didn't do anything for me. A thousand kisses from a boy couldn't do half as much as one from a girl." I said. "Not that it's based completely on attraction but it's usually what lets you know that girls are who you prefer."

"Hmm," Allison said. "And for you, how do you know you're attracted to someone?"

I wasn't sure where this route of questioning had come from or where it was even leading but I wasn't going to let all of tonight be lost because I wouldn't answer a pretty simple question.

"For me," I paused. A flash of Allison smiling and laughing tonight shot through my thoughts. "They make your heart race that little bit more; you can't help but notice how they smile or how they're eyes light up when they laugh. You notice the little things and you're enamoured by them. You feel this need to know everything about them. And obviously, you constantly think about how it would feel to have their lips pressed to yours. If it would ignite some kind of fire in you, an attraction almost unbearable,"

Allison said nothing. I looked over at her. Her eyes were dark and her breathing heavy.

"That," She stopped, swallowing. "Sounds amazing."

"It is," I admitted smiling to myself. Had I been thinking of Allison during that? I wasn't getting myself caught up with anymore straight girls; I had promised myself it was just too messy. But I still couldn't stop myself watching her.

"Are you attracted to anyone right now?" Allison asked. She moved closer to me, one hand on the back of the sofa and the other on the cushion next to my thigh - she was almost hovering over me. Her face was right in front of mine. My eyes glanced down to her lips before moving back up to her eyes. Eyes which were staring right at me and She had obviously seen where my eyes had gone too. I swallowed.

"Shay," She whispered out my name.

"Yes," I said.

"Are you attracted to me?" Allison asked. I didn't know if I could answer the question, I was aware of Allison's hand next to my thigh as her fingers seemed to creep from the cushion onto my leg. What was she doing? I didn't want to misread the signs but how else is this to be interpreted? She is inches away from face.

"Are you attracted to me?" She asked again, her fingers roaming up my leg.

"Fuck," I said. "Yes."

She stilled her movements and made no move to say anything. I closed my eyes wondering just what kind of mess I'd gotten myself into.

"Good," Allison mumbled. I felt her lips touch mine and I lost it. I grabbed her shoulders pulling her in deeper. I felt her tongue roam over my bottom lip before entering my mouth. I groaned into the kiss and Allison pulled back. I looked into her eyes trying to figure out what was going on.

"Allison?" I asked.

"God Shay, I'm so sorry." Allison moved back away from me. "I shouldn't have kissed you."

"Stop its fine. Why shouldn't you have?" I asked. Allison didn't seem to be having any kind of gay panic, just the usual I kissed someone panic.

"We work together and I told you I didn't like your lifestyle yet here I am." Allison said. "Such a hypocrite,"

"It's fine." I said again.

"It's not," Allison's voice choked. "God, I'm such an idiot. I knew this would happen."

I moved closer to her, grabbing her hands in mine. "It's okay, if you liked it. It's okay. I won't tell anyone."

"I didn't want it to be true. I thought I just wanted to be your friend that the feeling in my chest was just from friendship." Allison was crying now.

"Ali," I said. Her head whipped up to look at me. "Is this why you moved? Did something happen?"

Allison nodded. "There was this girl. And one day my dad came in to surprise me, he wasn't meant to be back early and he walked in on us kissing. He flipped out and I thought he was going to kill her. He started shouting that she'd forced herself on me, made me engage in that disgusting behaviour. I panicked, I knew then that my dad would never accept it, accept me. I tried to push it down and not act on my feelings. But it became too hard with us working together so I transferred."

"Oh," I said. I understood then that fear had driven her behaviour towards me, if she pushed that she was homophobic then no one would suspect she was hiding anything. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"But then I saw you." Allison continued. "That first shift and I knew then I couldn't hide it much longer. You made me feel what I'd tried so hard to forget, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"We can forget about this if you want, go back to being just two people who work together." I said.

"No." Allison said.

"No?" I repeated.

"I can't. That kiss," Allison said. "It's like you said - it ignited something. I want you and I'm scared by what that means."

"Well I'm here for you, whatever you need." I said. And knew that I meant every word. I hadn't felt like this about anyone in a long time.

"Will you stay with me?" Allison asked, tears drying on her face.

"Of course," I smiled. Allison took my hand and led me to her bedroom. She lay on top of the bed and I lay down behind her. As she started crying again, I moved my arms around her and pulled her closer.

"What does this mean for us?" She asked.

"Whatever you want it too." I said. That seemed to placate her and she drifted off to sleep shortly afterwards. I could only hope the morning didn't bring back that fear which surrounding her feelings. I shut my eyes. I didn't want to be hurt again.


End file.
